Unthinkable
by McGleeky
Summary: AU: After the death of her sister, Kenzi, Bo decides to start anew and leaves her life in New York City. She decides to live in a small town, Riata. In Riata, Bo finds peace, slowly. She soon encounters the social outcast, Tamsin, who's holding onto a dark secret. And Bo can't seem to stay away from her.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Lost Girl and/or its characters.

A/N: So this is my first fanfic ever. This is an AU but still has some of the mythological aspects of Lost Girl, as you will see later on. This will be a Valkubus fic.

Chapter one

Bo POV:

"It's been complete hell, Doc," I say to Dr. Lewis, my therapist, "I can't seem to get a grip on reality or on anything for that matter. I'm losing myself. Ever since…ever since Kenzi died, I-I just can't deal with anything, not anymore."

"And that's completely normal, Bo," she says with a sad smile, "You've lost someone very close to you and your reaction is not out of the ordinary."

"But it's been months!" I cry, "I should be over it by now, or I should at least not be crying myself to sleep anymore." I cover my eyes with my hands, forcing the tears back.

"Bo, I think maybe you should take a vacation, away from all the reminders, everything that connects you to her. And when you're ready to come back, everything will be like it was and you can live your life in peace."

"But what if I'm never ready to come back? What if I come back and the reminders are too much and push me back into this hole of…nothing?"

"If that is what you fear, and this is completely my personal opinion not as a therapist, then don't come back," she takes my hands into her own and with a light squeeze says, "Do what's best for you. Make a new life somewhere. I know you're not happy here, not anymore. You've had a tough life."

She was right. She IS right. I've had a really tough life. Kenzi would've wanted this for me. I know it. She would've wanted me to be happy, even if she isn't here to see it. I need to move on, no matter how difficult it will be.

A/N: I know it's short, but this is just me trying to get some footing and after all I'm just starting out (since it's my first fanfic ever). Plus this is just to see how I should format it in the future. SO leave a comment or a review or whatever and I will post chapter two soon. Thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Flashbacks are in italics.

Chapter two

Bo POV:

Leaving Dr. Lewis' office, I felt a surge of relief; I finally now have something I can do, I have an escape. For so long I've felt obligated to stay for Kenzi, for her memory. That's over now. I can finally be free. The tears came rushing down my face, but I didn't know if they were tears of sadness, or tears of joy. Tears of joy? How could I possibly be joyful at a time like this, after Kenzi? But then again, she'd want me to be happy, even after the way we left things.

_ "I've had enough, Kenzi!" I angrily flung the door open to my apartment and slammed it in Kenzi's face, hoping she'd get the picture and leave me alone._

"_Bo!" Kenzi yelled, stopping the door with her foot and shutting it behind her as she entered, uninvited, "Don't you see? Dyson is bad news! He cheated on you a bazillion times and he's hit you before, don't you think he'll do it again? You gotta drop this guy, honey." She reached out to me, trying to hold my hands. I pulled away, as if touched by fire._

"_Don't, Kenz," I snarl, "Who are you to give relationship advice anyway? Aren't you the girl who can't hold onto a guy for more than two months at a time?" I see the hurt flash in her eyes, but she's not backing down._

"_Bo," she reasons, "This isn't relationship advice, this is life advice. You're life is in danger by being with him. Your mental health is in danger-your physical health!" She grabs my shoulders and stares into my eyes, "Please, Bo. He's not a good guy for you." Kenzi's right. But all of this is wrong, I love Dyson. He never means to hurt me._

"_Of course he means to hurt you!" Kenzi exclaims. What? Had I said that out loud?_

"_Kenzi," I push her hands away and turn away from her, "I think you should leave; you've said enough, and you're wrong because I love Dyson and he can change." I was certain of this fact; I know Dyson loves me too and it won't be long until he changes._

"_Yeah, maybe he will," she says coldly, "Maybe he will change, when you're six feet under. I'm just trying to look out for you, Bo, just like you did for me all those years. I'm just trying to open your eyes I'm just trying to help—"_

"_Yeah!" I scream, "Well I don't want your damn help! I can see very well for myself what this is all about-you're just jealous!" I had no idea where all of this was coming from. I can't stop the words coming out of my mouth, "You WISH you had what Dyson and I have!"_

"_Oh yeah, you got me, I really want bruises and scars and meaningless kisses. Let me tell ya."_

"_Just leave, and if this is how you're gonna act, then never come back! I don't need you; I have Dyson." It was too late to take back my words, but I stood my ground, enraged. For what? I don't know._

"_Okay, Bo," she starts to back away towards the door, "You win." And with that, she was gone, into the night. _

That was the last time I saw Kenzi. The last time I saw her alive anyways.

…

My apartment was a mess. The evidence of my grief and misery cluttered the floor: broken glass, half empty beer bottles, a few empty whiskey bottles, and pictures of Kenzi and me. It felt like hours, just staring at the mess on my floor, at empty memories. A knock on the door shook me out of my daze. Without looking through the peephole, I opened the door: it was Dyson.

"Hey, Bo," he leans in for a kiss, but I turn my head away just in time, with Kenzi's words echoing in my head-_You gotta drop this guy, honey_.

"Uh, hey, Dyson." I can tell he's a bit annoyed with my behavior, but he lets it slide and comes into my apartment. Ever since Kenzi died, he's been very sweet, too sweet. Kenzi's words seemed to be invalidated with his recent behavior, but I know now, thanks to Kenzi, to keep my guard up.

"So, uh, what are you doing here?" I ask. He takes one hand and rubs his bearded cheeks.

"Well, I'm here to check up on you," he says.

"Why?" I ask, knowing very well why; he thinks I'm a basket case, everyone does.

"I know you had therapy today…and it's been awhile since I've seen you, a week at most." It's true, I've been avoiding him. He's been great and all I guess, but I need space to think to breathe. His eyes meet mine and he looks like he waiting for something to happen…did he say something?

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" I ask. His eyes tense.

"I asked about how your session with Dr. Lewis went?"

"Oh, it went fine," I explained, "She actually said I should probably take a vacation or something, away from all the reminders…the triggers." I expected him to be upset at the news, but he looked…delighted?

"I think that's a fantastic idea!" He sits me down on the sofa and plops right down next to me, squeezing my shoulders, "In fact, I think Hawaii is very nice this time of year and I bet I could even get us some cheap rates at a resort right on the beach. I mean, think about it, you and me, on the beach, without a care in the world…"

"Dyson," I interrupted, "I actually thought to go away for awhile, by myself." His eyes darkened, but his face twisted into a mix of disappointment and sympathy.

"I guess that's a viable option, I mean, you need your space right?" He was visibly uncomfortable, and he kept clenching his fists.

"Dyson, if you're not okay with this I-" I started.

He interrupted me, "No no no no! It's totally fine. You need your space, babe. And besides, I'll be right here when you come back." _If I come back_, I thought. He had a menacing look on his face that made me want to never ever come back. Kenzi was always right about everything, even in death. Dyson was not to be trusted.

I'm leaving. And I'm never coming back.

A/N: So that's it for now. Chapter three will be up soon, in a day or so. If any of you have a Tumblr, feel free to follow me if you'd like. I go by femmewaypark.

Feel free to leave a review/comment (be nice, this is my first fanfic) and I'll update soon.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update. I've just been busy with school and didn't really have time to write. I don't really have the chapters all written up, I just go with it.

So in this chapter, we have the first appearance of Tamsin, but there's not really an interaction between Bo and her, yet. They haven't met yet.

Dream sequence in italics.

Chapter three

Tamsin POV:

_My legs aren't fast enough; they're going to catch me. Run, Tamsin says the voice in my head. The trees flash by me in a green blur. Branches scratching at my face, roots, like hands clawing from the ground, grabbing my feet. I look behind me, expecting to see my pursuers, but there was just the empty forest, enveloped in fog and mist. My running comes to a halt. I hear creatures in the surround brush, rushing around, circling me like their prey. I whip my head around to catch a glimpse of who or what it is. I turn around once more and I fall, my whole world being ripped from underneath me. _

_ I land on something soft and pillow-like. A bright, warm light shines through my eyelids. The sun? I open my eyes, shielding them immediately. I sit up, supporting myself with my arms. I'm sitting in the middle of a field of flowers, daisies. It seems like I'm alone. I'm about to get up when I feel hands over my eyes._

_ "Guess who?" a sweet melodic voice flowed in my ears; it was a woman's voice. I take her hands from my face and I turn to face her; my eyes meet her brown ones in an instant. She feels like home, but I can't match her face to a name. Her long brown locks frame her face and flow over her shoulders. Her smile widens as she giggles, "Just what are you staring at, Tamsin?" I tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear and lean in for a kiss. _

_ Just as our lips were about to meet, the atmosphere around us suddenly got very cold. I pulled away from her and looked up: the sky was angry, black clouds rolling in like tidal waves, wind howling. I stood up and the world seemed to shift; we were no longer in the field of flowers, we were in the middle of a war torn street. The cars around us were up in flames and buildings were on fire as well. I turn back to the woman and she's on the ground, bruised and bloodied. I knelt down next to her and as I reached out to touch her, my hands were covered in blood. I stared in horror. Did I kill her?_

_ "That's her blood," a gruff voice called out, "You did this, all of it." I looked up and a silhouette of a man was standing a few feet away. Who is he? He motioned towards the destruction of the town. I did this? _

_ "It wasn't supposed to happen this way!" I cried out. "I didn't mean for this to happen!"_

_ "Don't tell me," he pointed behind me, "Tell them." I looked behind me: a mob. I stood up and faced the mob, bracing myself. _

_ "Maybe you should keep an eye on the real enemy," the man said. I turned around and faced him, his eyes were glowing red. He took one step forward and lunged at me. Then, darkness._

I bolted upright in my bed, tearing the sheets away. This can't be happening. Not again. I get up and stumble to the bathroom. I grope for the light switch, the brightness stinging my eyes. I grasp the sink counter and lean towards the mirror, staring at my reflection. My eyes, usually a stark green, are now a dull flashing gold, and bloodshot. Damn it hurts.

Just breathe, it'll pass. Control it. You can't lash out now, not tonight, not ever again. I can feel it wanting to burst from within, with a bloodlust. Keep it in, Tamsin; tonight is not the night.

That dream. Something's going to happen. Just like last time, Tamsin. I look back into my reflection and my world goes black.

….

Bo POV:

"So this is it," I said to myself as I pulled over to the side of the road, "This is my escape." The sign on the side of the road read "Welcome to the town of Riata-Population 3000" which is by definition a small town. I figured a small town would be nice, definitely a change from New York City. Kenzi would have probably hated this place, since it's so far from her usual pace of life.

I pulled back out onto the road and drove into Riata. Clearly they don't get many visitors if the pedestrians staring at me were any indication. So much for not drawing attention to myself. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Just as I was losing hope, I saw a sign: The Dal bar and grill. I definitely need a drink.

…..

A/N: Sorry again for waiting so long to update. Busy and all. I'll probably update again in a few hours.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Two updates in a day, yay! I'm making up for lost time :)

So someone asked if there will be someone or something involving powers, there will be and you'll see soon who it is. So yes, this is an AU fanfic with powers but kind of limited, I guess).

….

Chapter four

Bo POV:

Stepping into The Dal was a surreal experience, I felt like a celebrity. Literally all sound ceased when the door shut behind me; all eyes were on me. I gave them an awkward smile and wave. They went back to their business, but some eyes followed me as I made my way to the bar. I made sure to take a stool as far away from the other customers as possible. The bartender approached me. He was a small man, on the older side with a balding head and warm eyes.

"Well you're definitely not from around here," he smiled, "Are you?" He stuck out his hand and introduced himself, "I'm Fitzpatrick McCorrigan, but everyone around here calls me Trick. I also own this place. And you are?" I took his hand as he spoke.

"I'm Bo. Bo Dennis. And yeah, I'm not from around here, I'm esc-on vacation. I live in New York City." His eyes lit up.

"New York!" He practically yelled making me jump in my seat, "Oh how long it's been. Tell me: do you see any trolls in the subways? One of them owes me big money." What the…? Is he joking?

"Well, I see troll-like people…?" I shrug, and he laughs.

"What can I get you to drink? I can even start you up on a tab."

"I'll just have a whiskey-Jack Daniels, if you have it." I smile at him.

"Of course," he returns the smile, "Here ya go." He slides the glass over to me.

"Thanks," I take a gulp, the liquid burning my throat, "Do you happen to know where I can find a hotel, or an inn?"

"Just across the street, owned by a very nice couple. Tell them Trick sent ya, I'm sure they'll give you a decent room for and even more decent price."

"Thanks, Trick," I nod at him, and he goes about to tend to the other customers. I drink the rest of my whiskey and set the glass down. I turn around and take a look at the entire room. It was very rustic and old-timey, but in a very nice and cozy way. Most, if not all of the furniture was made from wood, aside from the barstools, which had brass legs. There was a jukebox in the far corner, playing some classic rock. The walls were decorated with pictures of both the town and past customers, flyers advertising some sort of event or band, and a few license plates here and there. In the back of the bar there was a pool table, currently vacant.

I made my way over to the pool table. Kenzi loves pool. Loved. I leaned on the table, running my hands across the velvet green top, sliding the cue ball from one end to the other.

"You play?" a voice knocked me out of my thoughts. I turned to where it was coming from, in the corner by the pool cue sticks. A lean, blonde woman was leaning against the wall, bottle of vodka in hand, swishing it around. She clearly was intoxicated, I think. Her face was stoic, yet had a touch of sadness.

"Uh not since…um, not really anymore," I said, thought of Kenzi and how she used to take me to a pool hall every now and then filled my head. The woman pushed herself off the wall and came towards me, sizing me up. The room got very hot and uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"I recognize you," she stared intently at my face. I could practically see the gears turning in her head. Her green eyes combing over every detail on my face and body.

"I, uh, don't think so," I explained, "I'm not from here." I shifted away from her a bit, eyes darting around the room. She was about to speak again, but a voice boomed:

"Hey freak!" A man from across the bar yelled. The woman's nostrils flared and her jaw clenched. I assume he's talking to her. She turned around just in time to receive a beer bottle to the face. It hit her square in the face. The bar went dead silent. I went to her side asking if she was okay, but she just pushed me away. She covered her face with her free hand, trying to stop the bleeding from her nose. She made her way towards a back entrance of the bar, by the pool table. She looked pissed. I looked over to the man who threw the bottle; he looked more than pleased with himself, receiving high-fives from his buddies. What the hell?

"Hey girlie," he called out, to me, "Stay away from that hermit, she's nuthin' but trouble." I looked over to Trick, who didn't look entirely surprised. Did this sort of thing happen often?

…..

Tamsin POV:

I knew going out tonight was a bad fucking idea. Shit that hurt. I'm still bleeding. I got get home before…

"Hey!" a voice called out, "Hey! Wait up! Are you okay? What was that all about?" I turned around; it was the woman from the bar, and from somewhere else…

"I'm fine," I said, "Just a scratch, really. I'm used to this sort of thing." She wasn't convinced, "Who are you anyways?" I took a swig of my vodka, trying to numb the pain.

"I'm Bo, you? And that doesn't seem like 'just a scratch'. You should probably go to a doctor or something."

"I'll be fine. By this time tomorrow, it'll be like nothing happened. And I'm no one you should concern yourself with, Bo. Just like you'll hear around here: I'm bad news," I turned away from her and started towards home, leaving her alone.

A/N: Thanks for the nice reviews, guys. Keep 'em coming :)

A/N2: So I corrected a major mistake I made in this chapter. I'm sure some of you noticed I mentioned Tamsin's name in Bo's POV and she hadn't told Bo her name yet….so yeah *facepalm*


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